Dildo?

when a massive rubbery poo snake slithers into your toilet you can stare back at it

Why?

That is exactly what it is - people eating, broadcast over the Internet.

It takes a certain kind of personal-injury lawyer to look at the facts of this glittering night and wrest from them a plausible plaintiff and defendant, unless it were possible for Travis Hughes to be sued by his own anus.

One of these things is not like the others? Huh?

Imaginary Female Trouble... Jealousy and Religion... Tobacco and Masturbation... Carbonic Acid Gas... Parents were Cousins... Fell off Horse in War..

"Look how he fringes the ring!".. and since we're so close to April Fools, I might as well give you the context: cricket engelse sport.

Wisdom

I don't know how I'm doing. I'm just crying and watching soccer and Mom won't get me Panda [Express], so I have to eat ice cream which is really good

The interesting thing about hot tubbing at -50 is that it's so cold that the steam rising from the 103F hot tub condenses and falls as snow.